Getting free from fear but staying free from ego

As I had stated in my previous posts the first challenge that I had when I knew it was time to stop selling, trading, bartering, or exchanging myself for money or whatever I wanted was overcoming the thoughts of measuring my life by what I billed or how much money I made. Coming into the light showed that it was what I gave to others was my new measure of joy. So as I journeyed forward things seemed like it was smooth sailing into my new and wonderful life until my old nemesis called self showed up with a whole new set of challenges.

There was a period of time when I worked for a week or so and nobody gave me anything at all. I had a full week of flying and many had computer problems that needed attention and nothing was offered. I started with a whole new set of feelings that started me down a path of resentment and bitterness. Now mind you I was doing what I enjoyed doing and everyone was appreciative of what I gave them but I kept looking at them thinking are you not supposed to give me something after all I met your needs and solved your problems so shouldn’t you be giving me something?

Now my condition at the time was all the bills were paid, I had plenty of gas to get to work, and there was plenty of food in the house. So there were no pressing needs for things or funds. Regardless though I just got stuck on the hey what about me mentality and the more I dwelt on it the more upset I made myself to the point where I started to think that I was not appreciated and or respected. Thinking this way did not help my attitude at all.

That Sunday I did not have many thoughts of love and I felt very distant from the new found joys that I was enjoying which caused me to pause and examine what my problem was. I had to stop and figure out how I had wondered out of love and into anger. I realized it was the old enemy, ego/intellect and the mentality that you owe me because I did something for you. I was aghast at how low I had allowed myself to sink. I may as well have climbed back into the gladiator arena and picked up a business sword and went back at it again.

Well the pity party ended then and there, I had to get back on track and into love again by saying NOBODY owes me anything but I owe everyone all that I can give. My life’s wellbeing is not based on what others give to me but by what I give others. Of course I had many years of wrong thinking and this was a time to once more die to that descending competitive world way of thinking and focus on me ascending to light and love instead.

The next week came and I needed food for the family, gasoline to get to town, and many bills had come due. Well that week it all came in; food, fuel, and all the money I needed to cover ALL the bills. It was then the hard lesson of love came to me. I met other people’s needs and when mine came up they were met too. It was NOT about what I did and being owed by anyone.

MIT did a study that showed if people’s needs were met and they were left alone to do what they really wanted to do they got done more in a 24 hour period then they did on a payroll for a month. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me……….

with love Nicholas Grachanin

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